The road to coming back to independent music was an emotional and psychological process. And most definitely a tragedy and triumph. Who ever was on my Facebook four years ago in 2012 might know a little bit of what happened or remember why I left the world of music for two or three years.
Before 2012 began, Patrick Lew Band was being redone into a whole different thing where I wasn't going to have any input regarding everything. I was friends with someone from my CSUEB years who I thought was my friend but completely screwed things up in a big way. I made him the co-leader of PLB at the time, but I wasn't able to contribute to anything and the original idea was to have me, him and our other friend to do it. I was recording a lot of material that would have been the follow-up to Murder Bay, which was our 2011 album, but my so-called friend rejected the material because he didn't like it and because of religious reasons. So I took the material and released them under the name Heavy Sigma (now known as Patrick Lew & The Steel Lions). If you were on my Facebook in 2012, there was an upstart indie label in Seattle handling the music I was doing at the time.
As 2012 went on, it became apparent that Patrick Lew Band starring three now former friends from college didn't even practice most of the time. I was living in San Francisco, they were living in Antioch. We had probably only two rehearsals that year, and it became apparent we were going in different directions. To make matters worse, someone who I thought was my friend in PLB kept shaming my musical abilities and made it seem like I was a crap musician when in fact, he never wrote an original song in his life and only did covers. In September of that year, I posted a status on our band's page concluding that it wasn't going to work out and to put it simply, Patrick Lew Band was over. For a long period, I wasn't able to use the PLB name because of possible legalities with my former bandmates. It wasn't until mid 2014 where I said to my former friend that I'm taking back my rights to that name and told him to get the stepping. Also, he done a lot of shady things that were contrary to what I stand for when it comes to friendship and all. In short, he didn't mean well as a friend or a band member.
When 2013 rolled around, I was having a lot of problems with a former girlfriend at the time of five years and it became a very stressful and toxic relationship. I also lost my passion for music because I felt after 12 years up to that point, I wasn't cutting it. So I left. Plus, my former girlfriend didn't want me to be a musician at all. She wanted me to be this hardcore Southern Baptist Christian husband who worked 9 to 5 while she sat on her behind all day chewing me out whenever she doesn't get her way. I was also under house arrest for most of the year because of her. I'm very happy that me and Knuckles patched it up and we're stronger than ever, but for undisclosed reasons, we didn't talk for half a year. When we reconciled, we were both having a shitty year. The only good memory I've had from 2013 was making bank in a few months from working and working. Me and David AKA Knuckles did play a show at Mama Art Cafe in September. We weren't Patrick Lew Band or Heavy Sigma, we were just playing music onstage but the crowd was enthusiastic! It took me a lot of strong will to get myself out there again. Then the following night, my ex and I had a huge argument over female fans cheering me and she said very derogatory things about my music and my art. That's when I lost my passion again and felt like, "Man, this was my shot. I have to be a normal person for the rest of my life and be miserable."
Me and David were asked by another friend of ours to try out for a band in late 2013 called Kings of Malevolence. While this was my initial plan to return to the music scene, it didn't work out for creative reasons. For the first half of 2014, I was dealing with my ex and the remainder of the toxic relationship up to that point. Tragically, three of my close friends died within half a year. My friends Alex, Alejandro Nieto and Ross Newman. After concluding my relationship with my ex and we finally broke up. That's when I decided I wanted to do music again. Like they all say, we're born in this world to do something with our lives. And God granted me this gift to play guitar and produce original songs on my laptop. I might not be the most popular or the most mainstream or successful, but I've been a freelance musician in the Bay Area since I was in 8th grade, so I had to get back right on it. Plus I didn't want to look back on my life 30 years from now with regret and bitterness. So if you were on my Facebook around 2014, you might remember seeing me post a YouTube video stating to the world and on social-media, "I'm back."
And here I am now!
